For some reason, even though I've invested, in my estimation, close to a million dollars in buying pens, I can never find one, ever. I think my kids or my couch eat them. Mostly, I end up writing with Sweatone's yellow crayon from Frisch's when I have an important phone number to write down. Then of course later, I can't read it. Or I have to run over to one of the gazillion computers in my house, pull up a word doc, type it in, the whole time saying "uh huh, uh huh, could you repeat that?" to the person on the phone.
For Christmas, everyone buy me pens please.
O, I'm a total cherry flavored douche. I lost my cell phone, again. So if anyone reading this is in my cellphone contacts list, sorry if youre getting calls from transesuals or rednecks at 2:00 a.m. I'm not reporting it lost for one week, in hopes it turns up. This is the third cellphone in a row I've lost. The last one was behind my bookcase, but turned up only after my contract had expired and I moved the bookcase to clean behind it. Zule hates this kind of behaviour. I expect I'm in the dog house. He's easily distracted though, if I get him a pumpkin pie as a bribe, he'll swallow his anger, and save it for later ammunition to make me look retarded when its dramatic.
Ask him about the time he dumped me on the Tijuana/San Ysidro border as a prank. Funny stuff that.
I found this blog when I googled up "cherry flavored douche" for the hell of it. (I also found cherry anal desensitizing cream, but I was afraid to click on that)
http://www.annelawrence.com/portlandia.html