Okay, so I have this really evil cat. His name is Mr. Kitty. 6 years ago, I asked Zule nicely for a kitten for a mother's day present. We searched high and low. Its very difficult to find a free cat in San Diego. And, if you get one from the humane society, they're all up your ass about getting them declawed, which Zule insisted upon. So, we got Mister Kitty from the receptionist at the law firm I worked at. Originally, his name was Sally, because Zule insisted, at five weeks old, that the cat was a shorthaired female. Well, no, he's not. Then, his name was changed to Apollo Junior, but everyone calls him "Mister Kitty". The animal would test the patience of the saints. He is bulimic. He pees everywhere. And, he will eat anything and then puke. Once, I caught him with his head inside a salsa jar, and another time, he jumped into the open, hot oven to try to get to a steak. The cat weighs 17 pounds. Hes a biggun. The only thing he's ever refused to eat is a raw potato.
He now has severe middle child syndrome. Until the baby was born, the cat was the baby of the family. Zule used to carry him on his shoulder like a parrot and play machine gun kitty with the cat (by grabbing his front legs in one hand, the back legs in the other and pretending the cat was a machine gun). The cat slept on my pillow. Now, with law school and a toddler, the cat does not get as much attention, except from Dbot, who is his worst enemy (dressing him up like a baby) and best friend.
Any way, we have all these candy canes on the Christmas tree. Sweatone likes candy canes, and had apparently opened one up and stuck it on the cat after getting drool on it (the cane, not the cat). Dbot found the cat crying, and looked and on his tummy there was a stuck candy cane. Poor little cat. Dbot got it out, but it had been nearly a day, so it must have smarted a little to get the candy cane out of the fur.
Mr. Kitty also left a dead bird for me about three months ago. I did not have my glasses on, so I thought it was a Happy Meal toy and went to pick it up. When I realized it was a dead bird I screamed and then the baby started crying. I had to get a dustpan.