Words from the burbs

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7362397441664379736&q=risd

I was tempted to fake my own death today, not for the benefit of the state, but to see what would happen.

Okay, so I'm not one for sweets, except for ice cream. Like I really don't eat a lot of junk food, unless I'm stressed.

I'm more of a lean cuisine chick. But, since law school started I've gained weight.

Not a serious amount, probably 7 pounds. but its all on my stomach. Gross! Plus, groundhog day, which is coming up soon, is the last day any self respecting woman consumes anything fattening in view of "bikini" season.

So, I got the kids an extra birthday cake last nite, to have an unbirthday party. I typically an untempted, but today I had two pieces.

So, my intake today was:

1 cup of frish's big boy coffee (starbucks drive through too long, side trip to frisch's drive through)

4 diet pepsis

2 pieces of fudge randomly proferred at law school

2 pieces of cake.

2 lean cuisines

1 ham and cheese sandwich.

There is a reason I'm getting fat!

 

When I started law school, everyone told me I'd start finding humour in odd legal things. This is one of those quizzes that will make sense only if you work in the legal profession.

 

Notice, it was made by someone called "drunklaw".

 

http://quizilla.com/users/Drunklaw/quizzes/Which%20Canon%20of%20Statutory%20Construction%20are%20You%3F/

 

Im the Rule of Leniety

That sucks. I already have muffin top in every pair of jeans I own.

Samoas are the nectar of the gods.

I'm sure I'll pack on about twenty pounds. Then I'll wear only sweat pants. GRRR!

So, there's this character on South Park, Token. Today, one of the three black people who go to my lawschool was talking about Token. Saying "and there is this kid, the only black kid... his name is token". I come out of nowhere, hug the guy and say. "thank you for being our token, we love you".

No one knew what to say.

 

 

I spend most of my life at Target. Tonight, I picked up Sweatone and Dbot at their Grandma's. Sweatone was wearing incredibly ghey pants b/c he had an accident, so they put him in girl pants. So, I decided to go to Target and buy him some new outfits and new gloves. Needless to say, he fell in love with the girl pink bunny hat and combo set. So, I got it. He looks adorable. I also got him a camoflauge set, so he can be manly too.

Zule is in a different state until Sunday. That means I'm captive! In the home with Dbot and Sweatone. Both of whom fight like cats and dogs with each other. Its like watching Jerry Springer. Except referee Steve is gone!

http://www.absoluteskinny.com/

I cannot use the interweb for more than chat.

I screwed up my class registration two months ago and today Dbot got a call that was like "Can you tell your mommy she's in the wrong class?".

O well.

I fixed it.

We did get to read a case about cannibalism this week. That was interesting.

 

http://www.australiangnomeconvention.com.au/index.htm

 

I wonder if they all get together, go get drunk and lap dances?

Its sleep deprivation.

Last night, as typical, Zule and I were awoken at 4:45, with Dbot's ear infection. Well, accurately, DBot woke me up, and while I was looking for ear drops, I woke Zule up b/c he thought there was a burglar, b/c I was rumaging through things.

Sweatone went to bed at nearly eleven, then woke back up at 5:30, crying for momma.

So, If Zule and I go to bed at midnight, we can expect on any given day, to get three hours of sleep.

Faus Pas:

So, today was my little nephew's birthday. I asked my sister what to get him and she said dinosaurs (he's three).

When he opened the present, my sister was like "O he'll love it!" (insert fake enthusiasm here) 

I got him this:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00063FDN0/qid=1136773591/sr=1-6/ref=sr_1_6/103-5417120-6905432?v=glance&s=toys

and

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00063FDNA/qid=1136773591/sr=1-7/ref=sr_1_7/103-5417120-6905432?v=glance&s=toys

I figured he could have a dinosaur war.

So anyway, he is ecstatic over the presents, but my sister is acting wierd, like "Don't take them out of the box".

I was like "Okay".

Then, my sister gives me one of the presents she was going to give her son. She's like "SHHH, just give it to sweatone". suspiciously, a t-rex horn was sticking out of the paper. It was the same T-rex I'd given him.

Then, ten minutes later, Dbot comes downstairs giggling hysterically. My daughter has a special voice when she has the goods on someone and she giggles. She's like "Ha, we got him the worst gift ever! He has those brontosaurus too, already, its in his room!"

My sister looked pale. 

Apparently, I got him two duplicate gifts. I just gave them the receipt. But, by the end of the evening, the toddlers had worked the duplicate dinosaurs from their plastic-chinese-twist-tie-prisons and all the dinosaurs were battling each other.

Important news: My house is as clean as it can get!

I dedicated eight hours.

The only other thing I did was take a friend to "go get her car."

I have classes at 9:00 a.m. all next semester. I find this really freaking rude.

My classes are 300 dollars a credit hour, I should get to sleep in.

The following site reminded me of the time that Zule and I were on a cruise two years ago. We saw a classic, 1987 mullet. So Zule tried to get me to act like he was taking a picture of me, but really, he was taking a picture of the mulletman.... quite the subterfuge, but, alas, the dude trumped us by saying "do you want me to take a picture of both of you together?"

We nearly died trying to keep a straight face.

Like no dude, you were the actual subject of our photostudy...

http://www.mulletjunky.com/

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1229051mugs8.html

llazy llawyer llinda.

Its the last day of my captivity aka the children's winter break from school. Luckily school commences for both children tomorrow.

Last night, no one got any sleep, b/c the baby kept waking up and if he was not waking up, every two hours Dbot's improperly programmed alarm clock kept going off. So, I get out of bed ast 6:30 and took Dbot to school. Zule was going to do it, but he was so damn tired, I felt sorry for him and did it.
It was a comedy of errors: Zule woke up at 7:15 in a panic, forgetting that I was taking Dbot to school, and freaked out b/c he could not find her anywhere. Meanwhile, at the same time, I'm pulling into the middle school, and realizing school was shut.

We all came home and slept. Dbot is still asleep.

Its suspiciously nice weather here. I'm going to take the kids to Cave Hill for a picnic.

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/5122172