Words from the burbs

I'd love to go over to my friends' house tonight, but as a good mom, I'm going to take the kids to Chuck E. Cheese. We have a coupon. Woo!

Zule just informed me we could take the extra pizza we don't get home for later. I said "Chuck E. Cheese pizza is awful, why?"

Quotation: "Pizza is like puss*, even when its bad its good."

We have a writing assignment that is fairly complex for school. I'm really not into it. I like to read, so the rest of my classes are a lot more interesting. Of course, interesting is a qualifier. However, I will get it done. I'm really half tempted to turn in the mircrosoft word documents my two year old son creates where he sits in front of the computer, and with great joy yells a letter, finds it on the keyboard, and fills a page up with that letter. He says, "I type mommy." Here is a sample:

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…………………………………………………………………………………………………….///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

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Its probably more coherent than my brief, at this point.

School.

Violently ill Friday night.

Lots of laundry.

I got my first law firm rejection letter. I'm keeping a binder of them.

My best friend had her baby (in San Diego). He's about 7 pounds. He was born February 11.

Law school sucks.

That's it.

I came home from writing a brief, and apparently, zule had split a military ration we had between the kids for lunch. For some reason, this struck me as funny.

Yesterday evening was Zule and my 7th wedding anniversary. We went to the The Pub at Fourth Street Live for dinner and then to Lucky Strike for a drink. Now, if left to my own devices, I like to drink or not    to drink, as of late, at the Mag Bar and the Back Door.  But, on a date, its better to go to places like Lucky Strike,  Zule and I thought.....

Okay, so clearly Zule and I were on a date. This whacko guy walks  by and says "yo". So, just in case I know him, I say "hey!" and then turn back around to discuss girls' butts within the bar with Zule. Then, I realize the guy has sat down two chairs from me behind me. I lean over to Zule and say "Eww, like that guy is behind me now". Full fledged ignoring at this point. Then, when the guy goes to get his bowling shoes, he touched my waist as he walked past. Now, I don't typically care if my friends touch my hair, my waist, hug me, kiss me on the cheek whatever, but this from a stranger, I thought was the final straw. I tell Zule, "that dude just touched me". Zule was like "I did not see it".  So then, as the guy walks by AFTER getting his nasty rental bowling shoes, he runs the filthy things along my waist in passing. It was very degrading. Zule saw this and his eyes nearly bulged out of his head. He said "I'mma go talk to him". At first I was like, No, please dont... but then I realized, on behalf of all the ladies out there who do not have wonderful husbands that dont automatically realize their wives had nothing to do with this,  I said go for it.

He walked over and within a minute or two, the whole thing was "resolved". Zule is such a hottie! (and no, I'm not one of those chicks who try to start shit that their man has to resolve, this is the second time Zule has had to defend my honor. But he did! He' s such the medieval times green knight.

I love you zule, for this and everything. Happy Anniversary, Darling.

Secret message for the ladies: the waiters at the pub at fourth street live are beyond hot in their kilts. Go for this the way men go to hooters.

 I'm completely useless at real life stuff. Here is a true story, of life at our house yesterday:

I wanted coffee. I loaded up the coffee maker Zule got from Woot.com. Press the button. Nothing. Redo entire process. Push button. Nothing. Fine I thought, my forefathers conquered fire, I'll just heat up some water in the tea pot and pour it through the drippie part (literal thought process: noun = drippie part). I let the water boil. A couple minutes later, I smell a terrible smell. I had accidentally left the cord to the coffee maker on the stove. It caught on fire. Then there was the whole thirty seconds of "what to do?" *bites finger*

I unplugged the coffee maker, and slapped out the flames bare handed.

Just then Zule came home and took a look around and said "What on earth?" He's not convinced I should be using electricity.

If the whole house burns down, don't think its some sort of Sylvia Plath moment. I probably just forgot that fire is flammable.

I figure I'll probably die in some totally retarded manner. Zule and I have a pact that he has to make up a better death for the obituary.

for example:

Reality: I forget that automatic garage doors close. Brain squashed out on driveway.

Obituary: J++++, beloved mother and wife, died in the line of duty nursing sick puppies back to health.

I spend a lot of time trying to keep myself occupied so I don't snap. I take quilting class, go to professional school and try to scour the floors once every three days.

My latest project is to make a papier mache marie antoinette beheaded= head out of a wig form head. I'm going to make it, fill it with candy and have a pinata party on my lawn.

I'm not filling it with cake.

So right before 24 came on last nite, my power went out.

I was thinking, that's okay, we have a tivo, till I realized that the electriciment runs the tivo as well. Thwarted. Apparently vicious squirrels chewed through the lines. How they did that without making barbequed squirrels I have no idea.

Okay, so I'm unitarian. I've been unitarian since I was 15. Before that, I was in the first church of religious science, which is kind of a cult but my parents were really into it.  Like my dad has a ministerial degree from the first church of religious science. Basic principle, evil does not exist, every thing that happens is through concious choice of the MIND. So basically at an absurd level, kids that get beaten chose this life so they chose their parents to beat them.  I can remember my mom and dad yelling at me when I had ear infections when I was little telling me I had to do more positive affirmations to get rid of the ear infections b/c obviously, I was bad and wanted an ear infection. No wonder I operate under a collosal sense of guilt. Woo, SCIENCE OF MIND, thanks for the mind fuck!

http://www.fcrsaustin.org/

(sample first church of religious science website)

But anyway, I take this quilting class on wednesday nites at the unitarian church to which I belong, and tonight, I got into a fight in my quilting class. The older I get, the less bullshit I'm willing to tolerate. I paid for my daughter's dinner and my dinner, put my son in his childcare class, for which I donated money, and then I went to my quilting class. All was good, then about one and one-half hour later, I see my daughter walking around outside the class, when I'd told her to go to the Grateful Dead class. (She did not want to take quilting). I announced to the class that I'd better excuse myself, b/c my daughter's class was out. Then, one of the Churchladies, (all churches have them, even ours), very rudely told me "that I should have read the flyer, b/c no children under fifteen were aloud to take classes without their parents being in the same class". Dead silence. I then told her quite firmly something rude, although I don't remember exactly what I said. I swear I'm turning into a bitch.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/01/31/bush.sotu/index.html

What the hell? I'm patently convinced I'm hallucinating. Evil Randar, conservative, please explain.