4th of July Madness!
There is one holiday my neighborhood takes completely seriously. That is the Fourth of July. We have an enormous block party, and I had invited my inlaws over, and my neighbors over to set off fireworks. Anyway, the day begins every year with a little parade that the kids put on by decorating their bikes, strollers, etc., and its lead by a police cruiser and typically, the St. Matthews hook-and-ladder fire engine. This fire engine is an integral part of the parade. Not to make fun of our City's officers, but truly, they pull the hook-and-ladder out when there are cats stuck in trees, b/c our City has very little true dramatic shit for the police and fire fighters to do. So, they lead our parade. Any how, the parade starts. Massive drama, there was an actual car fire and the fire truck was not there! All the parents were confused, including me, b/c we feel that our city taxes in part go directly to ensuring that the fire truck leads the parade. In fact, that's about the only time we see the police or fire fighters, b/c our City is really boring.
Anyway, then there was a prayer. Zule and I always forget there is a prayer, so we just kind of faked it. Then, there was the parade! At the end of the circuit, we all end up at the Train Man's house on the adjoining street. O happy day, the fire truck was there! Remember, I live in a Norman Rockwell painting.
Then, later, we grilled out, and shot off a ton of fireworks. Zule lost his mind with the fireworks. At one point, he was using our chiminea to launch fireworks, and we blew up a Santa doll. The kids were loving it. Unfortunately, the fraternity brothers of one of our neighbors did not. At 11:30 p.m., I went in to check on the kids, and while I was in the bathroom, my mother-in-law came and got me. She said "Um, your husband is in a fight outside. Come here". Okay, I thought this was a total joke and started laughing. I go outside. There was an altercation! In St. Matthews! This is the best transcript of the incident I can compile, as I was not there for most of it. I was inside moving watermelon into my own tupperware so my mom in law could take her tupperware home.
Characters: A random Dude, his girlfriend, Zule, my mom in law, my dad in law.
Dude: I can't believe you got this firework debris on my girlfriend's car!
Zule: Collateral damage, dude. (joke, but not taken as joke).
Dude: I can't believe you got crap all over my girlfriend's car!
Zule: Okay, fine. Its the Fourth of July. No car has been left untouched.
Dude: Do you want a piece of me! (in Zule's face).
Zule (trying not to laugh, but not backing down either): Um, not really. Look Dude, I'll give you five bucks, you can get your car all cleaned up.
Dude: I work in IT, and my girlfriend is a CPA! We make money, we don't need your money!
Zule (trying not to beat the shite out of the guy, and trying not to laugh): Yeah, IT got it. (Zule is a programmer) Well, my wife is a lawyer! (i'm not, i'm a law student. Don't tell the bar).
Dude backs down and they get it all worked out.
I feel really sorry for that Dude man, my mom-in-law was ready to jump in, and she would kill.