I think I'm going to hurl.
And that's awesome.
Here's the facts. I've always loved messing with people. I'm a
trickster. An evil female Loki. I used to send Evil Randar ridiculous
shit in the inter office mail, such as license plates, cant hold on to
me balloons filled with oil, bandanas. And well, poor BAAL got the best
trick of all a pre marital BABY! Xule lives everyday with my tricks as
do my kids.
But, I decided, this year to make a really awesome haunted house at my
house. Being a twisted whack job, I decided lets get a bunch of pig
hearts. I cajoled the dude at the processing plant to give them to me,
and today I went to pick them up. First off, they had to transport them
from something called a kill floor to the "guard house" where I was
waiting, which had me all freaked out. My friend Matt used to
work at a slaughterhouse and really, his stories are cemented in my
mind. Plus my friend Mike went to this slaughterhouse a while ago and
had to do some plumbing and the plumbing from the kill floor backed up
and a huge geyser of pigs blood shot over him like a geyser.
That's fucked up shit. Not as fucked up as the bag of eyeballs I have
right now. I looked inside and literally freaked out and I knew what
they were. This is going to be awesome. On a side bad note, my
house smells like an abattoir.