So I bought new dishes yesterday with Dbot. Our old ones
were cracked in places and chipped. I
also bought 18 new glasses, b/c the number one complaint from guests in our
home (besides about our cat*) is that we have no glasses, unless you count
recycled plastic cups from what the hell ever kids meal of the past or empty
cottage cheese containers. So I put Dbot in charge of washing the new dishes
and putting them away. She did admirably well.
Later, I was sitting in the dining room using the internet, and I hear
Dbot lose her temper on Zule in the adjacent kitchen. It went something
like this:
Microwave ding. Door to microwave opening sound.
Dbot: No you didn’t! NO YOU DIDN’T!
Zule: Its just a bug.
Dbot: Those are our new glasses. I can’t believe you stuck a
glass with a bug in it in the microwave to kill the bug.
Zule: What else was I to do? I pulled a glass down and there
was a bug inside, and I’m next to the microwave, makes perfect sense.
Dbot: I washed those glasses! Might as well pick up a plate
and throw it at a house fly next time!
By this time, I’m laughing so hard I had to go see what was going on. Surely, Zule had microwaved a
bug in a glass. He looked at Dbot and held up the glass and said “Might want to
wash this one again.”
*Our cat is markedly (pun intended) on his worst behaviour
around guests. He will pee on the air mattress, pee on open suit cases, and
once peed on Zule’s friend’s suede jacket. He jumps on guests in the middle of
the night to wake them up b/c he considers them suspect.
Yesterday, Dbot launched a scornful diatribe against her
least favorite people, her orthodontist Haskell and his spaced out staff. Dbot has considered the man suspect since we
first started taking her, two years ago, b/c the brochures have this attractive
looking man in a white coat on the cover, and Haskell is not that. Dbot called the flyer orthodontist “gay for
pay” at the time, which caused Zule and I to fall off our chairs. Yesterday, apparently (I cannot see anything
wrong), one side of Dbot’s wiring in her mouth is loose and she was sounding
off on what she thought about it. The
speech involved the phrase “the Haskell ‘tards” no less than three times. It also involved references to the fact that
they give out “coins” that a child can save up from each visit and get dvd
players and stuff and exactly what Dbot thinks they should do with those
coins. She’s also mad that they
constantly give misleading information about what appliances and braces are
requisite. I have a feeling she’s going
to snap on her next visit on June 7th. These are the same asshats that tried to charge Zule and me 20
bucks b/c we missed an appointment, which we’d tried to cancel, but they
weren’t open until the moment of the appointment and they don’t have an answering
machine.
This morning, I was getting ready for work, and Zule told
Sweatone he had to do something or not to do something (I can’t remember) and
Sweatone just straight out said: “Day-umn!” I can’t blame that language on
anyone but myself.
Oh the goat saga continues.
My mom’s largest nanny goat took one look at the enclosure they made for
her and basically climbed over it. Apparently goats are adept climbers. They stopped screaming their heads off
though, so that’s good. Ha ha, my mom
has to milk a goat everyday.