My son the jurist
I have this stupid moot court, which the only thing that is keeping me from going postal is that I get to go to White Plains New York, and potentially go see NYC, which for god knows what reason, I've never visited. Anyway, I have to argue from two different positions, and to keep my son from going downstairs and bothering his sister, who is trying to sew 9 irish skirts, I asked did he want to be the judge. He responded by going and getting his clip on tie from his bedroom, clipping it to his shirt. I gave him a gavel (for some convenient reason, there was a gavel stuck in the couch and I pulled it out and gave it to him). I got through the first sentence of my opening:
Your honors, the plaintiffs have no standing. Although this a public law, a private individual must have an injury in fact, fairly traceable to the defendant's actions. The defendant's are not administering a pesticide that will cause a fish kill.
bang bang goes the gavel.
Sweatone opines from the bench: "don't kill the fish and don't put your privates in the water."
Best opinion ever.