I thought, why not?
Why not combine the stress of the bar exam next tuesday with nicotine withdrawal? See, I decided I'm really tired of smoking and I don't want to take the exam as a nicotine slave. Sure, to me, Marlboro Lights taste awesome. But I'm tired of feeling sick and coughing and slowly dying. Whenever I've felt like this before, I've been successful at quitting for at least a year at a go. I have just hit 24 hours and the cravings are WORSE than ever. Its like this: I think I'll get a glass of wine: I NEED A SMOKE. I am walking: I NEED TO SMOKE. I am breathing: I NEED TO SMOKE. Its really wierd. The only way I'll have an issue is if zule brings cigs home or relapses.
My quitting plan has been to lock myself in the house, with my son (and earlier today with my mom), stay positive, stay focused, and drink shit loads of water. I also worked out like a mf'er to try to get the nicotine out faster. Until I hit two weeks, I plan on shopping at target, which does not sell cigarettes but in doing so I'll dramatically curtail our dinner options. I have also made a nasty cocktail of old cigarettes and wine/water in an ashtray, that if I look at, makes me ill. I put it where I used to sit to smoke. Wish me luck. I want this demon out of me. That's why I can't use stop smoking aids. They keep the nicotine in. Everytime I've quit for more than a year, it's been cold turkey. It is truly odd to be sitting completely still in a room, and break out into sweats and diarreah out of nowhere. I hope by the time my kids are adults they've outlawed tobacco products. And BAAL, you were right when I was 18, and you told me I would get addicted. In th intervening years, 15 years * 365 days * 20 cigarettes a day = 52780 cigarettes.